# 20 - How to get to civilization

The five most popular ways to get to civilization from Bawana Road are:

1. Drive out. If you’ve got a car with a ton of petrol, there’s nothing like it.
Average times: 5 mins 34 secs to Rithala and 13 mins 49 secs to Wazirpur.

2. Catch a friend driving out. If a friend has a car with a ton of petrol, there’s nothing like it.
Average times: 6 mins 34 secs to Rithala and 14 mins 49 secs to Wazirpur.
The extra minute is usually required for verification of route and destination and arguing that there’s space for exactly one more person when 5 others are already in the car, by suggesting alternate seating arrangements.

3. Hop on aboard the 879. Route 879 runs from Shahbad Dairy to Janakpuri via Madhuban Chowk. It goes through the heart of Rohini and makes it a point to visit its every road and marketplace. This greatly increases travel time. Another very disturbing truth about the 879 is that 99.71 times out of 100 you happen to be unfortunate enough to board it, it’ll be a private bus. The misfortune of boarding a private bus will be explained sometime later in the book. I have seen exactly one DTC 879 till now and the likelihood of that changing is the same as those of our bathroom flush working again.
Average times: 17 mins to Rohini West. Fare Rs. 5/-

4. The RTVs. When you board an RTV, the driver and his partner in crime, the 12-year-old conductor promise you they’ll be fast.

RTV Laws:

A- Stoppage time at any stop is approximately 10 minutes, often converting to a bidi break for the driver…

B- The stoppage time is invariant with the number of people already in the RTV, if there aren’t too many. It increases logarithmically as the number of passengers increases.

C- There is also an unwritten rule stating the conductor must personally persuade all people within a 25.78m radius to board his RTV, even if the angle between their velocity vector and that of the RTV happens to be 180 degrees. Where there is one RTV, there is another on the prowl, waiting to ‘steal’ passengers from the first RTV.

D- If an RTV is threatened by another one encroaching upon its area, they’ll tear through empty roads in a terrific display of sheer racing madness under the false pretext of keeping their promise of being fast. The winner of this short but eventful battle usually boasts of his speed and control to the terrified passengers and then ridicules the loser for having the balls to challenge him.

E- Most RTVs plying in the area are ‘dhoom-enabled’, i.e., when they brake or their indicator flashes, the ‘dhoom’ song starts playing.

Average times: 29 mins to Rithala and 58 mins to Wazirpur. Fare: Rs. 5/- for both.

5. The autos. The best place to take an auto till is Rithala. Bargaining is easy, especially when more than 20 Rs. are asked. It is better to have 3 others along, so that each one can pay a measly sum of Rs 5/. The last one in isn't exactly a rotten egg, but he gets to sit with the driver. Average time: 8 mins to Rithala.

6. The Delhi Metro. This is the best means of transport. What sucks is that only an auto or an RTV can take you to Rithala.

-Rishi-